The Bakersfield Voice
Let's Laugh: About Election 'Season'
Let's Laugh: About Election 'Season'
By: Caroline Reid
Topics: Let's Laugh
Posted by caroline Thu Oct 9, 2008 08:54:09 PDT
Viewed 273 times
0 responses 1 comment
I absolutely love this country and its tradition of having presidential elections every four years. It’s an amazing opportunity finish four-year-old projects. Here are “Rules to Live By” between now and November 4. These are not necessarily in priority order. You should prioritize in a way that suits you. This assumes you keep up to date with the news and candidates a lot earlier than 29 days before election. You may have already marked your ballot. If so, you are home free!
- Read only the comics in the newspapers.
- Do the crosswords faithfully.
- Close your eyes when you walk by the newsstands and magazine counters. If you are in a store and the news is on, walk around with your fingers in your ears going, “La, la, la, la.” People will stare at you but it’s better than the news and talk shows.
- Avoid late night “comedians.”
- Never discuss politics with anyone other than a friend or family member you know would take a bullet for you.
- Buy a huge flashlight, borrow the neighbor’s big dog and go on an exercise walk if you are tempted to turn on the news.
- If someone brings up the elections or the candidates, play really dumb. Say, “Who?” “What?” “Where?” “Huh?” is a good one too.
- Start cleaning out closets and drawers. Haul stuff to Goodwill, Salvation Army or any number of places. If you can’t drive, call them. They pick up.
- Clean your golf clubs. They need it.
- Read a good book. I started “Dr. Zhivago” again. It doesn’t exactly lift the spirits but compared to the news, it’s hilarious.
- Sort out your sock drawer.
- Try a new recipe.
- Watch baseball, football and hockey and start your list of little known statistics so you can impress your friends at New Year’s parties.
- Clean your garage. Hang up your tools. Throw away 10-year-old paint.
- Lastly, VOTE, but be quiet about it! Just do it!
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Fri Oct 10, 2008 08:45:41 PDT
Perfect way to avoid all the hoopala! It does get old after two years of following the campaign trail. I really can't understand why they let the campaigning start so early. We sure don't need two or more years of listening to all the misinformation they throw at us. Plus, it seems to me all that money they spend on advertising could do more good if it was donated to schools, hospitals, food stamps or other worthy causes. Two years of listening to all the hype, fibs, exaggerations, and just plain lies, is more than we need by about 18 months.
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