The Bakersfield Voice
What It's Like To Be A Bereavement Phone Caller
What It's Like To Be A Bereavement Phone Caller
By: Laurie Reese Optimal Hospice Volunteer
Topics: "Bakersfield, volunteer, family, life"
Posted by kbudnick Wed Aug 27, 2008 13:29:54 PDT
Viewed 173 times
0 responses 0 comments Location: 4700 Stockdale Hwy Ste. 120, Bakersfield, CA 93309
Most of us, at least most of us women, love to talk on the phone. We like to connect with one another, feel a part of things, get a glimpse into the lives of our friends. It makes us feel wanted, useful and in-the-know. We talk while in our jammies, painting our nails, shopping at Target, waiting at the Dentists office, before Yoga, after Yoga and while cooking dinner. The phone is fun. Okay, so I'm not one of those women. I'm imagining what everyone else must feel like because, truth be told, I detest talking on the phone. Can't even tell you why, exactly. I like people. I like talking with people. I just don't like the phone. That's why when Rhonda, volunteer coordinator extraordinaire, asked me to make the bereavement phone calls I thought that for the first time in her life, our maven of perfection had made a mistake. Me? Pick up that dastardly piece of auditory electronics and spend hours in agony? Oh, please. I spend every day with a seven year old and twin five year olds. I can barely carve out time to go potty and now I'm supposed to spend three of the only six hours I have to myself every week making phone calls? Can't I just bake some cookies???? Alas, Rhonda, in her infinite wisdom, must have known all along that I would take to it like the proverbial duck to water or even better, like a teenager to text messaging. I agreed in a very short term, try it out, noncommittal, "I can quit any time I want" sort of way.
I was warned that not everyone would be nice. We all grieve differently and some of the people I call may be angry. I braced myself for the worst, but found only the best. I love the people I call. They are unique and special and going through perhaps the most difficult time in their lives. I feel like it's a gift when they choose to open up to me. When they tell me about their loved one and how they are managing to make it through each day without them by seizing opportunities and going places even when they don't feel like it. When they relive memories and laugh about the good and silly times they've had. When they cry and struggle with their loss, yet find the willingness to accept the help that we're offering. It is good. It is so good. We all know that Hospice offers a vital service for the patient who is dying and for the loved ones left behind. Bereavement phone callers jump right in at one month, six months and thirteen months to check on those loved ones who remain with cracks and fissures in their lives and hearts. They need healing. We can help with that.
From a volunteer's perspective, checking in on the bereaved has given me a purpose outside of myself and my family. It takes "me" out of me and frees my mind for a least a little while from my own problems and upsets. In other words, our grieving clients help me more than I'm helping them. I don't leave the office depressed after making the calls, on the contrary, I leave grateful. I love making bereavement calls. With all this practice, one day I may even learn to love the phone.
If you are interested in becoming an Optimal Hospice Volunteer please contact the volunteer office at 661-716-4000 or email kbudnick@optimalhs.com for more information. Our training sessions are every first Wednesday of the month. Please R.S.V.P. to reserve your seat.
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