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School rumors: Not always what they first seem to be
Topics: school, children, rumors, parents, students, peers, Education
Posted by WalMcC Thu Jul 24, 2008 11:44:26 PDT
Viewed 273 times
0 responses 0 comments Location: 93312

I was talking with one of my Principal’s recently regarding a toy that had been taken from a 1st grader.  It was, we think, at one time a key chain.  It looks like a really tiny gun.  It was not a gun.  It was not even a cap gun or a replica gun.  It was more like a largish charm bracelet figure.  However, the stories that kids carried home were that some kid had brought a “gun” to school.  In another instance a mom was late picking her child up and the youngster decided to walk home.  He took a wrong turn but  eventually found someone to help him phone mom and she went and picked him up (after we searched the campus, dispatched people to drive streets and called the police).  We immediately got a call from an unrelated parent within minutes of the happy resolution asking if it is true that a student had been kidnapped. 

Everyone must fight rumors at some point in their lives.  I don’t think anyone is allowed to get out of middle school or high school without being the focus of a rumor or being accused of saying or spreading something that contributed to a rumor.  So I know every adult out there understands the adrenaline surge, anger, fear and lost sleep dealing with rumors.  Crime reports in the news have incidents every day where some fool took action against another based upon a rumor.  In fact now that I think about it that describes most fights I had to deal with when I was a high school Principal.

I do not have a simple answer to a topic that has been researched and written about in thousands of psychology, human behavior & sociology textbooks.  But I will try to make a couple of points mainly for parents raising their children, or grandparents raising their grand children, or aunts raising their nieces and so forth (I must get in my jab periodically about the divorce rate in this country.)

First, do not believe everything your child says happened at school.  I must constantly remind new teachers not to believe everything their students say about their family and what happens at home.  In both directions adults need to use the “Does this make sense?” filter.  When in doubt, call or go in and talk … and I guess now send an e-mail to your child’s teacher.  [Note: I’m not talking about stories that require a Child Protective Services referral … those are mandatory and employees are not allowed to investigate.]

Second, act like adults. That means stay out of it.  Don’t get involved personally trying to straighten someone else’s child out.  That is only going to result in you explaining yourself to law enforcement or explaining to your child that you can’t come to school because the school has a Restraining Order on you.  Do talk to school personnel who can often give you a more balanced understanding of what is happening.  They have the perspective and experience.

Finally, understand that you are hearing stories filtered through the maturity and understanding of your child.  Children often repeat what they have heard as if they actually experienced it … and those are high school kids.  In younger ages perception and understanding of events and stories can be even more problematic.
 

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