The Northwest Voice

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Backfire

It has been along time since my daughter has come home looking as though she has had to fight her way on the playground. In her grade school years we went though the bullying, playing football with the boys and dodge ball but now that we have entered the realm of high school -- the battles are verbal instead of physical.

As she dropped her over thirty pound backpack on the kitchen floor she began her tirade.

Daughter: You know the research paper we have to write?

M: Yes

Daughter: Well, I am writing on gun control and second amendment rights!

I already knew this because we have already went on line, to the library and to the book stores hunting for materials.

M: Is that a bad thing?

Daughter: No, but you never told me that I was investigating the politically incorrect side of the issue?

Already speaking like she is in college.

M: You never asked for the popular side to the issue... and since when do you back down from a fight?

Daughter: That’s not it! You know when we were getting all the information it just seemed like it made sense. It all fell into place to write my thesis statement, outline and introduction in class?

The first taste of life truly being unfair and topsy turvy.

M: Ok, sweetie, so why do you look like you have already had a battle?

Daughter: Well, we turned in the thesis statement, outline and introduction but when we shared the introduction paragraph I got slammed by almost everyone in class.

I hope she had held her ground.

Daughter: You know Mom...they were almost violent in their hate speech toward me about hating the second amendment and hating gun owners.

Where does she get all these terms? Hate speech....

Daughter: You know what I hate the most is that they do not call it the second amendment they call it gun rights as if the amendments do not even count... and then the people do not make sense...what is that called...

M: Hypocrisy?

Daughter: Yeah, isn’t that when they say you can’t have a gun to protect yourself because you might kill an innocent person? Then I said -- what about all the innocent students who have been killed in school where there is a gun free zone?

That is great point... I wonder where she came up with that!

M: What did the class say to that point?

Daughter: Ah, jeez Mom, you would have thought I shot someone! I tried to explain that Virginia Tech was a gun free zone and that Columbine High School was a gun free zone but everyone was yelling...

My immediate thought was where the teacher in all this?

Daughter: I thought I was stating the obvious Mom but jeez... hey do we have any of that meat Dad made on the barbeque?

Just like a teenager to forget the important point and to revert to food. Then of course, the teenager would never think to look in the most obvious place just so that Mom would have to make the meal. She started eating a hand full of strawberries as I obediently got out the meat...

Daughter: Mom, why are there gun free zones? That is just like putting a big flashing light out in front of the house or school – saying come in and get me I am not armed?... I mean how dumb is that?

M: When you put it that way...it makes sense.

Daughter: Well, Mom... what other way is there?

Oh boy, she is asking questions that are not answered in easy teenager sound bite time.

Daughter: You know what my teacher said...

I was afraid to ask.

Daughter: My teacher says guns are really bad and that they kill people.

I said it wasn’t the gun -- it was the bullet.

I chuckled...now that is my daughter. I knew I should not encourage this type of sarcasm.

M: What did the teacher say to your comment about bullets?

Daughter: She said it wasn’t funny. But I think it is funny in a sad way because it is true.

I agree guns and bullets do not kill people – people kill people.

Daughter: I just don’t get it. The prisons let people out for early release --- they get a gun and shoot someone — why then make more gun control laws? This doesn’t make sense. I mean... the bad guys already don’t follow the rules!

M: Did you ask your teacher this question?

Daughter: Yeah and she said that if there were no guns then no one would ever get shot.

I thought oh my goodness this teacher must be very young and an idealist...which usually is a good thing. But there are some issues that need age and wisdom just like a good wine needs time to ferment and time to breath.

Daughter: Mom, I hate to say this to you but it seems that the adults are all messed up.

M: Not all adults have lost their common sense.

Daughter: Oh really? Then tell me why it is ok for a teenager to have a partial birth abortion without their parents knowing about it and did you know that it is OK to leave the baby outside the womb to die but I cannot take an aspirin at school without telling the front office? Remember  the time  my school was going on a field trip and I had some aspirin and the drug dogs sniffed out the three pills and I got in trouble...explain to me how that is not messed up adult stuff.

She has a good point on this one. I am on the verge of believing that the sense in common sense is not so common anymore.

M: Well my dear, gun control and abortion are both extremely emotional issues. There is no middle ground when people choose their side. My best advice is when you choose your side-- you make certain your choice is based on fact not feeling.

I thought this was a good adult way to not really say anything.

Daughter: Mom, that was a stupid non answer.

Ok I got caught.

M: I know...let’s get back to the beginning. You are writing a research paper on the second amendment or on gun control? The two are similar but different.

Daughter: Ah, jeez Mom you are sounding like my class. The second amendment gives us the right to bear arms. So it is not an issue of the right to own a gun – we have that right. The issue is how much should that right be controlled. And I am confused as to why everyone seems so stupid on the subject.

M: Stupid how?

Daughter: Stupid because we say -- here come and get me I do not have a gun then we get all upset when a bad guy gets an illegal gun and hurts people. I mean, what does everyone expect to happen?  The bad guys act like good guys?

Again, I do not have answer because these are the issues that are part of what defines America and we as adult Americans cannot agree on what the proper answer is to these dilemmas.

M: Honey, there are many issues that drive wedges between people. The two you are laboring over are the most volatile. All I can do is guide you in your arguments and make certain that you understand both sides. But remember, you cannot force people to think your way or force people to understand what you view to be common sense and logical. Perspective, perspective and perspective...remember that.

Daughter: Well, Mom (with a smirk), that really doesn’t help because as far as I know I am the only one in my class that thinks this way... or has my perspective!

M: Maybe there are more but they are afraid to speak up. Do not stop speaking up because that is the cornerstone of the American culture.

Daughter: What do you mean?

M: The cornerstone, the buttress and the building block of our culture is the simple fact that we agree to hear all sides of an issue no matter how uncomfortable that issue and its statements make us feel.

Daughter: Ok Mom...I think I get it. But that still doesn’t make it any easier in class. And they still don’t really want to hear my side or perspective!

M: I know honey, but life is not easy.

Daughter: (rolling her eyes and huffing) I know and life is not fair.

With that, she ran up stairs with a handful of cookies, the telephone and left me with the mess of the snack to clean up. Somehow this discussion backfired – shouldn’t she be cleaning the mess?