The Northwest Voice

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Parents … have you prepared your recently graduated high school student (child) for college?  I’m not talking about getting into college, credits for high school graduation, current high school transcripts or any of the other minutia that seem to be the main focus of high school seniors in June.  I want to talk about REALLY preparing you and your child for college.

The national average of high school students that eventually graduate from a four-year college is about 25%.  Those are not good odds.  I was recently given the top five reasons students drop out of college.  (This list is actually 10 items long and comes from a large university that is trying to counsel incoming freshman to prepare them for college.  I will post the entire list at the end of this article which means you can read it on-line at the end of this column.)  If you have not had an adult conversation with your high school child, (despite their size and apparent maturity they are still children in so many ways), I’m giving you an agenda for a discussion.

Fifth, personal family issues.  College can be difficult enough without the burden back at home of ill family members, high school girl/boy friends, ailing grandmother, alcoholic father, divorcing parents, and a list of options generally covered by daytime television.  If you are serious about your child making it through college, discuss the family issues that can prevent successfully making it through college.  Be frank and clear that their job is to be a successful college student.  Family issues are never the reason to drop out of college.  They may become an excuse, but they are not a reason if you are serious about your child making it through college.

Fourth, financial constraints, low on funds.  I should not be surprised when so many families cannot establish or stick to a budget based upon income earned.  Going to college is, at minimum a major four-year financial commitment.  Do the math.  Understand the math.  Check the math against reality.  Update the math yearly if not more often.  Make sure your child understands the math and what it means to budget and live with a budget.  I’m sure your son/daughter loves the fresh squeezed type orange juice that is low in pulp and acidity but the reality may mean eating half an orange each morning instead.  Go to a college you can afford.  Balance college jobs and summer jobs with what it takes to make grades and stay in college.  Avoid loans that bury a college graduate with loan repayments on top of low entry-level salaries that generally come with entering a profession.

Third, student is academically unprepared or burned out on school.  College is not meant for everyone.  It is the gateway to higher paying professions.  It is hard, time consuming and demanding academic type work requiring conscientious focus and effort to get through college.  If your son/daughter is indifferent to school, do you really want to pay for four years of college that results in a 22 year old with freshman academic standing and still not sure what they want to do?  I’m a big believer that many students apply to college because parents want to brag, not because it is something the student actually wants to do.  Frankly, entering the work force or joining the military is often a better choice when balanced against blowing a year’s savings watching your child fail and self-destruct.

Second, experiencing a sense of not belonging, isolation and homesickness.  This is a classic case of not preparing your children for college.  Dorm rooms and student apartments shared by several people, let alone toilets not being cleaned by mom, can be an unsettling experience.  The privilege of being the child of caring parents who know how their children like their eggs, how they like their laundry folded, remind them of appointments and homework schedules, conference with teachers and create a loving home environment ends when they go to college.  If they travel any distance to college the sense of being isolated and far away from home is even worse.  Informal talks with some local high school teachers seems to indicate that a lot of otherwise bright prepared students only make it a year at good colleges.  Often, because these children were not equipped to make new friends, get along with people with different backgrounds, take responsibility and get organized for every aspect of their lives and, in general, be really off on their own.  Again parents, have the conversation and practice laundry, folding clothes, how to operate an alarm clock and stress that this is the beginning of adulthood.  You earned the privileges and comforts of life; your children have been along for the ride.  Privilege is now left behind and sacrifice is the order of the day.

The primary reason children fail their first year in college is scary.  First place goes to … too much fun at the expenses of classes and grades.  One woman I once worked with described it best. “I sent my beautiful, bright creative son to college and a year later he returns a binge drinking alcoholic.”  Don’t think this can’t happen to your child … it can!  Unless you have really confronted your child and talked plainly about their “job” in college you may be like the grandmother who recently did the math.  “Apparently I spent $38,000 on two grandsons attending college, sort of, in San Diego for a one year long party.”  The temptations in college to use alcohol or drugs, especially when lonely, are real and serious.  Have that serious discussion.  Going to college is a moral, spiritual, ethical challenge on top of the academic challenges.

The 10 Reasons Why College Students Drop Out

1.    Too much fun at the expense of classes/grades.
2.    A sense of not belonging, isolation & homesickness
3.    Academically unprepared, burned out on school
4.    Financial constraints; low on funds
5.    Personal family issues
6.    Academic climate; fit
7.    Choice of wrong major, major not offered
8.    Lack of advising; guidance
9.    Demands from part-time or full time employment
10.    Move to a different geographic location