The Northwest Voice

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I was recently speaking with a doctor, which at my age is no big surprise.  As my wife says, I can’t die because too many medical, pharmacological and dental professionals are depending upon me for their livelihoods.  Any way, his comments were treading on my territory.  He asked me,  “What is with all these parents trying to get a “label” attached to their child?  Seems parents want these labels for school purposes.”  To which I replied with suave aplomb … “Huh?”

From the Doctors perspective, it seems that parents want the label because it affords some type of perceived protection from consequences at school.  (For the record … this is not true.  Detentions, Suspensions and Expulsions always remain potential results.)  In other words, if your child is labeled Attention Deficit, Behavior Disorder, Hyperactive or whatever, schools cannot hold the student accountable for actions that are uncontrolled because they are medical in diagnosis … yes we can.  As the doctor said, “Whatever happened to parenting?” A diagnosis is the starting point for what you, as a parent, need to do to help your child be successful.  Every student’s misbehavior is not uncontrollable, even if there is a medical diagnosis.  As my dad once told me, prior to his implementing a “short term serious negative consequence” resulting from a call home from my teacher, “What punishment the school does to you for your misbehavior is the least that will happen to you.”

Many teachers, (and I consider them all puppies because they seem so young), tell me they remember when their teacher called home and the family immediately backed the teacher.  Behavior, organization skills, time on task and the reflection upon the family name were reviewed … hopefully with mom because I know I wanted the matter resolved BEFORE Dad came home.  I’ve noticed that all successful people learned about immediate consequences, usually from their father, when the school called.  It really seems that too many parents now delay consequences until “They get to the bottom of this.”  Delayed consequence is really no consequence.

I’m now doing my own teaser.  This issue of getting your child labeled deserves more of an explanation.  My next column picks up where this one ends and will likely ruffle some feathers … if I haven’t done so already.  [I must apologize to the editor of the NW Voice and my two readers ... I posted my column for the April issue to the wrong spot.  My ADD and attention span problems continue.]