The Northwest Voice

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My father was an elementary principal when I first started teaching. He gave me some great advice, “There are two groups you never want to get cross ways with — the IRS and school secretaries.”

My dad’s advice was often suspect because he grew up doing everything wrong at least once and he did not necessarily learn the correct lesson from life’s experiences. But in this case I think he is absolutely right. I learned my first day on the job as a teacher that no one cares more for their school than school secretaries.  A school is their “baby.”

School secretaries know everything. They know when a family is in the midst of a divorce because the kids are getting “phantom” stomachaches and come to the office seeking daily reassurance and some stability in their lives. They know which families are reliable and which see an entitlement world where deadlines and rules apply to everyone else. I think school secretaries would make great poker players because they know intuitively who is a liar without betraying that they know. They can usually sort out conflicting stories on student discipline before an administrator even gets involved.

So this month I want to help everyone with kids in school on some basic school office etiquette — the realm of the school secretary.

The school office is the heart of any school. Parents, you should behave like you are in any professional office. This is especially true when you are angry, irritated and short of time, which is too often the case when you have kids.

There are always students and innocent bystanders around, and none of them need to be subjected to an adult temper tantrum. Be aware of your tone of voice. The staff may or may not be aware of the background for the situation you want taken care of, but being calm and complete in what you have to say will be a great help in getting you to the person with whom you need to talk. Unlike many offices, school offices are frequently interrupted with ill children, children with injuries — both real and imagined — or students referred to the office for discipline. You may need to be patient because children have priority.

Carrying on a cell phone conversation in a school office is rude. Do not ask the office to take your child out of class when it means the entire class must be disturbed. Instructional time is precious, so time and coordinate your early “student withdrawals” with your child’s classroom schedule teachers go over at back to school night and usually post on their Web page.

Read any notes and notices sent home and posted on the Web site. Secretaries and teachers take great pains and are highly organized at getting parents the information they need. That may mean you must routinely dig through your child’s backpack — to the bottom of the bag. Stay informed, be timely and behave like you want children to model your behavior.

Pay your bills on time. Deadlines are there for a reason usually related to the deadlines schools are given for ordering, reserving or paying for things. It is the secretaries that have to keep track and send letters for unpaid student meals, bounced checks and other assorted minutia.

School secretaries are not babysitters. There are parents who do not pick up their kids on time and some who drop them off before there is supervision. Usually, those students usually end up collecting in the office.

Finally, parent volunteers with younger children in tow are a problem. These children too frequently are a distraction in the classroom and end up parked in workrooms (with sharp objects, pointed things, hot machines, piles of supplies and busy, distracted people) or the office. You may think it is cute that your 4-year-old can climb a bookcase, but I can guarantee the school secretaries don’t think so while they care for a bloody nose, a student crying over no lunch and five adults waiting in line.