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Let's Laugh: About Going to the Dentist
Topics: Humor
Posted by caroline Tue Jul 10, 2007 13:54:50 PDT
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I went to the dentist the other day.  Everyone should go to the dentist on a hot, Bakersfield summer day!  I’m sitting in this chair with dozens of metal things hanging down in front of my face, moving around like trapeze artists at the circus. The assistant comes in.  She says, “I am going to prepare your mouth so the doctor can work on that problem tooth and remove the bridge.” 

 

“Oh, dear God,” I am thinking.  “I don’t remember them saying anything about removing a bridge. Do I cry now or later?  Do I get up and walk out?”  

 

I did not walk out.  The x-ray they took the last time I was there was up and running on a screen – I couldn’t miss it.  I remembered suddenly that indeed, they did say they had to remove a bridge.  It just sounds so awful!  That bridge and I have been friends for about 20 years!  How can they possibly take it away from me? 

 

The assistant is now leaning over me.  She has a mask on and stuffs some foreign material in my mouth that tastes like a very odd flavor of jell-o and makes me feel as though I might be slowly choked to death!  Meanwhile, she asks, “How is your day going?” 

 

Good grief!  Don’t they teach them in dental school that if you are at the dentist your day is not going all that well?  I have never figured that out.  I HATE being asked how my day is going by a masked bandit when my mouth is filled with stuff that has an unidentifiable taste and feels like what I used to gag over when I was changing diapers. 

 

Here comes the dentist.  I take one look at him and figure he is just a high school kid, here to “observe” dentistry.  He looks much younger than my own son.  Frankly, he IS much younger than my own son! Suddenly he snaps a mask around his face and leans over to inspect the problem area.  I dared to open my eyes.  He was not only wearing a mask but he had some glasses on that looked like miniature binoculars.  I was totally spooked! 

 

Before I had a chance to object, he said, “This may sting a little.”

 

That brought me back to reality! Something that has been sitting in my mouth for 20 years has got to “sting a little” when it’s taken out! I let him use that mile long needle as much as he wanted and I totally ignored the miniature binoculars.  I was just thankful he could see what he was doing.  Again, he said, “Are we doing ok?”  Let’s hope he is doing ok because I think my life is in his hands! 

 

Suddenly I felt as though my mouth was filled with cotton and my beloved bridge was gone!  Just a “little sting” and it’s gone!   More goop was put in my mouth, more masked people were leaning over me, machines were buzzing and snapping and rubber gloved hands (four of them at last count) were scouring around in my mouth trying to make an imprint for a temporary bridge!  I survived!!  Life is good! 

 

Good dental care is absolutely essential to good health.  I just wish they could make it a little more fun. Why must it be in a room surrounded by masked people carrying needles and bridge removers!  Why can’t it be under a sun lamp, with music that sounds like ocean waves and a nice breeze blowing through the window?  Maybe even an occasional sea gull calling its sea gull friends. THAT would make my day!  When the hygienist asks “How are we doing today” I would peer out from behind my designer sunglasses, slather on the sun screen and say, “Never been better! I LOVE it here!” 

 

 

 

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