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Real Name: Dana Martin Date of Birth: June 18, 1969 Member Since: August 05, 2004 Last Signed In: October 13, 2008 Profile Views: 12616 Blog Views: 7117 Chad Vegas & Bob Hampton! Non-partisan chit-chat Volkslaluf training: MAN DOWN! Goodbye, Yankee Stadium For Sale: Anything Palin? September 11th Volkslauf training: Let the excuses begin! The Dean and Rachel Show is gone! What is the GU patch on NFL pro football uniforms? Jury duty: Some people should not serve August 06 September 06 October 06 November 06 December 06 January 07 February 07 March 07 April 07 May 07 June 07 July 07 August 07 September 07 October 07 November 07 December 07 January 08 February 08 March 08 April 08 May 08 June 08 July 08 August 08 September 08 October 08 
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Anniversary brings reflection
Today, I awoke to find a "Venti Peppermint Mocha" on the breakfast bar, along with a Starbucks gift card and a note from my husband. It is our 19th wedding anniversary. Nineteen years with the same person. That's longer than kids go to school from kindergarten through college. I have now lived with my husband as long as I lived with my parents. Even better: I now have been with him half of my life. It got me thinking about marriage, and why people stay married for so long when it seems more the norm to get divorced. Getting married at 19 years old means that a child married a child. How many 19-year olds are capable of making short term decisions (about college, a car, finances, etc.), much less lifetime decisions? We had everything going against us from the beginning, except love, which we had aplenty. But after a few years, we became adults and weren't the same people we were on our wedding day. Therein lies the problem, and the reason, as I see it, why so many people get divorced. No matter how in love a couple is when they wed, problems inevitably arise by their 7th or 8th anniversary. The easy way to deal with those problems is to get a divorce; the harder way is to stay together and realize that the problems are the natural speed bumps in a marriage, the "So you think you're tough enough to be married?" test that we all must endure--like boot camp for married people, where only the strong survive. I guess I made the vow early in my marriage that I would be a survivor. Luckily, my husband must have made the same vow. We both had good examples. His parents just celebrated their 50th anniversary; my parents were married for 44 years before my dad passed away. The benefits of a long marriage outweigh the disadvantages. We like the same movies, eat the same types of food, we share the same history, we have the same kids, who will bring home their own kids to us--the couple who wrestled their way to their 19th wedding anniversary. And he also knows what I like from Starbucks. I knew he was a keeper.
2 comments from 2 users
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posted by
KT
on Feb 4, 2008 at 09:01 AM
Dana, Wow -- 19 years with the same man -- congratulations. Andy shared that you were now the editor of the Northwest Voice and so I finally decided to read some of your work; I enjoyed reading your insights on being committed to surviving as we are planning to be married. And as we have discussed on numerous occasions, all relationships take work -- whether it's husband and wife, mother to child, or friend to friend -- each has its own joys to be cherished. I have found a wonderful man and these past two years have been an incredible journey with him. Thanks for the inspiration! posted by
SoftballJoe
on Dec 14, 2007 at 10:10 AM
Congratulations, yes 19 years is a very big number in this day and age. My wife and I just had our 47th. Marrage takes hard work, lot's of give and take. But the rewards only get bigger as time goes by. Cherish it while you have it, not too many people do!
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