Dear readers,

I got the following email last Friday from a lady named Teresa.  It is a wonderful letter to kick off my new column, “Hey, Dad”.  I asked Teresa and she gave me permission to post it here for all to read.  Enjoy.

 Hey, Dad

What a treat this will be!  However, it is also a huge responsibility as I expect nothing but the very best from a "Dad".  My own Dad lived to be 89, never complained though he endured chronic back pain for more than 38 years.  His humorous wit would really make you think, "I heard what he said, (usually it was funny) but was there some deeper meaning in that just for me?"  Dad's moved on now to those 'Streets of Gold' and I'm sure he's having a grand time, but I miss him every day.  So, if you don't mind, I have some questions about perplexing things in life.  How do you decide what it is in life that you're meant to do?  Your purpose on Earth in God's Big Plan?  This question isn't just for High School grads, or College grads, or people just starting out in life - it's also pertinent to those of us who find themselves at some crossroads, wondering which road to take when all the choices seem equally good!  I know NOT to choose the 'bad' things, but how do you choose from several 'good' things?  I'll be waiting for your sage reply.

Teresa

Here's a "Jim-ism" for you, "When cheerfulness is kept up on principal, against all odds, it is the finest form of courage".

Dear Teresa,

Thank you so much for writing, you will forever be remembered as my “first”.  

What a great philosophical question.  Sounds like you had a great Dad.  Life is full of choices.  Every road and highway in this country will get you where you want to go, but the problem is we never know where we will end up.  I have often looked back and wondered where I would be if I had taken that other job, or married that other woman, or was born in that other country.  Don’t worry about what God’s big plan is for your life, you are already in His plan and you are right where He wants you.  Just love God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength and He will guide you all of your days.  Life has speed bumps, and straight-a-ways, enjoy every minute of it.  Just like a bowl of spaghetti, your life will take you in many directions and touch many lives.  Keep your goals in mind, choose wisely, love others and be a positive influence on as many people as you can.  The rest will take care of itself.

Take care,

Dad

Thank you, Dwayne.  You are awesome!

~Dana

Thank you, Dana, You are awesome too. I have had many great comments about this column and the Northwest Voice. I would like to encourage all of our readers who ever wanted to ask your Dad a question but never got around to it, to join in this column and let's discuss it. I look forward to hearing from you.

Dad

 We will be printing your first column in the next issue, Dad.  :) 

 How about it readers, do you have a question, a problem, or something you want to discuss but never got around to asking your own Dad?  I am here for you, all you have to do is write to me.  I check this blog daily, and I promise to get right back to you. 

Take care,

Dad

"Hey, Dad," is written by contributing columnist Dwayne Ardis.

 Dear Dad,

I am a mother of three children (not toddlers).  My husband is a good father but he doesn't always present the best example for our sons.  I expect my sons to learn how to take care of the yard and take responsibility when they’ve made a mistake.  My husband should be a Christian example, the father of our household, and other things.  I am concerned that no matter what I try to teach them, our sons will grow up and mirror their dad, as boys seem to look to their father as their main example in life.  I have tried talking to my husband about how our sons will mimic his actions (or lack of action), but he doesn't seem to get it. What can I do?
Frustrated

 Dear Frustrated,

We live in a generation that places a high value on education and careers. Men spend years preparing and training to improve our job skills, yet many men enter fatherhood with little or no training at all. We have to learn as we go. Your husband is probably doing the best he knows how. In past generations, dads had the benefit of other male role models like their own fathers, uncles and friends of the family. If it is possible, encourage your husband to talk with other men that will give him good advice and help him to be more involved in a positive way. You can encourage him and praise him when he does the right things. Men respond to positive motivation. Don’t criticize him, but support him. Thoughts of failure and inadequacy may cause him to give up, leave, become overbearing from trying too hard, or develop a passive attitude and fade into the background of your children’s lives. Don’t wait for your husband to assume his leadership role. Get your husband’s support you if you have to be the temporarily “authority” figure to your sons. I would also suggest counseling from your pastor or a family counselor. Your boys need both parents working together with common goals. Don’t give up on your sons or your husband.
Take care,
Dad

"Hey, Dad," is written by contributing columnist Dwayne Ardis.

This is quickly becoming a favorite column here in the Northwest.  I just love reading your advice, Dad.  :)

*hugs*

Dana

Dear Readers,

Since I didn’t receive any questions this week, I thought I would take this opportunity to discuss something with you that has been on my mind.  As parents, we have to be more involved in our children’s education.  We are too quick to blame the teacher or the school system for the poor grades our children are getting.  Ask yourself this question, what are YOU doing at home to help your child get the most out of his or her education?  

Here are some suggestions:

1. After school, let your child play for an hour.  They need the break and they need the exercise.

2. Have them do their homework at the kitchen table.  This helps keep the child focused on their homework and helps you be available for questions.

3. Keep the TV, radio and other distractions off during homework time.

4. Once the homework is done, go over it with your child and make sure there are no errors and it is understood.

5. Schedule meetings with your child’s teacher or keep in contact via email.  Work together with the teacher.  If time permits, volunteer to help out in the classroom.

6. Praise and encourage your child to do the best they can in school.  Children love our support and admiration, and they will work hard to get it.

7. Dad’s, you get involved too.  You may be better in one subject than mom, and your involvement will show your child that you both care.

8. When in the car, pop in a book on tape instead of a DVD movie.  You can pause the tape to discuss the book and what is going on.